By Souad Susu Majdoub, 2010.
This year the Lord’s been laying it on my heart to share my testimony as much as I can; I keep getting different confirmations and most especially from some of the great poets on Crossway Cross Way Publications who just pour out their hearts at all costs. After what He’s taken me through and done for me, how can I not obey? Here goes…
I was born into a Muslim family of mixed cultures, African and Middle Eastern, so to speak. There has always been a mix of Christians and Muslims in the family, though my family was predominantly Muslim and practised it as well. I found myself at any early age tormented in my mind not only by the different cultures but by the incessant comparison between Christianity and Islam. I questioned at an early age many Islamic doctrines and found I held a deep reverence for Jesus as the Healer. That the Koran honored Him in this light was even more confusing.
Godly fate had my sister and I attend a Charismatic Catholic school where in my class, one of fifty-two girls, I was the only Muslim. The headmistress at the time actually made me stand up in class one day and had the whole class pray that I would be saved before I finished school. This was in 1991, it was in 2002 I finally got saved. My mother protested at us attending compulsory Catholic mass, but the headmistress told her, the rules didn’t bend for any one at all. During mass, I first felt the goose bumps and an urge to cry whenever we worshiped in the Chapel. The music, the words, just ripped my heart and I would have such peace afterwards. I still was more confused as my closest friends always ceased at any opportunity to convert me with their arguments, and I resisted so well! I had memorised Psalm 23 and Our Father and found I prayed them often anytime I needed to. I also kept the best and neatest notes in my Christian Living class, that for our Nun at the time, the sole Muslim in the class was the best Christian Living student… Ironic!
Life dealt me many blows and bad dreams and headaches plagued me all my life. I decided to go on a holiday which cost me all I had at the time, to England. A friend handed me a package, a lovely African outfit, nicely wrapped, to give to her friend in England. She wrote his name and phone number on the package, and when I got there, I called him. We arranged a time to meet and finally did. We got on so well, I noticed he was an extremely friendly person and had an amazing aura of peace about him. He asked me to walk with him to a book store near by so he could get bibles for some children in his church, and casually as he was bent over several bibles, asks me which church I attended and I replied that I was a Muslim. He just turned, looked at me and declared that by the time I left England I would be a Christian, I was taken aback at his upfrontness, and after all he was a stranger I’d just met. I replied, ‘Over my dead body, I was born a Muslim and would die one’… We exchanged phone numbers and parted company.
A few weeks later, he called me to ask if I cared to come help out in their new restaurant, voluntarily, since he knew I really wasn’t doing anything but weighing life. Any opportunity to learn in the catering line, I took and never thought twice. I was then a caterer myself and I had met a pro in the trade. What started as me wanting to help out and learn more in my job line, ended in him always talking about Jesus, and I would threaten many times to stop coming over to the restaurant. The bad dreams suddenly were getting better, the tears flowed more I never could figure out why I cried a lot. Then one day I had a dream, a Man in White, descended from Heaven and extended His arm to me, when I placed my arm in His, He lifted me up. I started to feel lighter, I smiled from the heart more, and I experienced peace I had never felt for the first time in my entire life after 29years. I would have dreams and see scripture in the dreams, when I’d tell my mentor about them, he’d read them from the Bible and would realise they all indicated Jesus telling me to step out and not be afraid, He was with me with every step. I still resisted, because my Koran taught that Allah begot none, so who was Jesus really? The only things I memorised from the Bible were Psalm 23 and Our Father, so why was I seeing scripture in my dreams? Why was I experiencing emotions of déjà vu and feeling there was someone all around me at all times?
Finally my mentor invited me to the blessing ceremony of his marriage and knew I could not decline his invitation even though it was in a church. All I can say is had I not held onto the chair in front of me during the praise and worship and ministration time, I would have fallen down, I was shaking like a leaf and even when the pastor said Jesus was calling someone out of the crowd and assuring the person not to be afraid because He was right beside the person, my mind told me not to make a fool of myself and stay put, but my heart bled, because I didn’t want the peace to end. I still resisted, my Koran taught me that Allah was self-sufficient and would answer all questions in the Hereafter.
Three days later, on the guise of picking his wife up from church before the couple drove me home; we ended up in a church again, on a prayer meeting day. The pastor just signalled for me to come forward, looked at me intently and asked me if I was ready to accept Jesus as my Lord and saviour. I didn’t hesitate, I said yes. Relief washed over me, I had taken a step of faith, I didn’t care what I had to lose, and I was tired of fighting!
Many journeys the Lord has taken me on, many amazing testimonies He has given me and walked me through, tougher times I’ve been through, but He always sends help, He is always there… Praying for my family isn’t a strain any more; I can rely on His eternal grace. The substance will hold, because Jesus is in the house to stay for good. I face many challenges today, but God has called us to walk this road with joy and help others on it too. My parents still do not know, and it was only recently that I found myself sharing my testimony with different family members with little or no resistance from them, even those deeply imbibed in Islamic beliefs. God’s time is the best and I have taken a resolve to look at life from His perspective, because short of a miracle, I don’t know how we survive each day and its woes, how much more hoping and believing that our loved ones will be saved?
We can do all things with Christ, we have His joy, His peace and His hope that we rejoice in daily. I’m grateful to the people God divinely ordained in my path to be instruments in bringing the gospel to me, to the few saved family members that answered the early questions I had, and to the many intercessors that never gave up on God’s plan. May God bless them all and may we all continue to be shining examples for Jesus.